You're ready for a change. You're sick and tired of feeling stuck in the same old rut or living each day in the same ways. You're ready for something new, something different, something better, something....more?
But where do you start?
The prospect of actually changing is likely unappealing. It can be scary and overwhelming to move away from safety into something unknown or that feels risky. You've probably ended up feeling this way because it feels easier for things to just stay the same. But is it easier? I don't think dissatisfaction is easy to co-exist with. And you wouldn't be spending so much time thinking about change if things were already good enough for you.
Here is how I support people making difficult changes:
STEP 1 - Awareness
The first step is for us to become aware of what you want to change and how you want it to be different. What are you unhappy with right now? How aware of your current actions, thoughts and behaviours are you? What do you need more or less of? What are you doing (or not doing) to contribute to things remaining as they are? Be really honest with yourself.
STEP 2 - Trial and Error
Once you know what you want to change, we can start to plan possible and realistic solutions, with a pros and cons list for each. Be aware that a lot of the stuff we try at this point might not work for you. It's a necessary step to try new things, push the boundaries of your comfort zone and effectively cross options off the list until we land on something that feels right. It takes as long as it takes.
STEP 3 - Follow-through
Once you've found an alternative way of doing things that feels right for you, this is when you take action. This is where you create the change you want to see in your life. Taking action is hard: you're effectively re-training yourself against your well-embedded habits. There will be times when you feel like giving up. There will be times when you feel like you're not good enough. Follow-through requires small steps. Putting one foot in front of the other until something becomes a habit or your new way of doing things. Celebrate your successes and take each day as a new opportunity to head in the right direction (i.e. away from what you were sick and tired of).
STEP 4 - Reflection
Achieving change is what you've been working towards. This is what you've been dreaming about. When you notice your new way is 'the' way, you'll feel a sense of accomplishment and pride. You'll know that you've made a difference in your life. You'll know that you're capable of change once you set your mind to it. What have you learned about yourself in the process? How can you apply this to other areas of your life? What is the impact of the change on other areas of your life and other people? What does all this learning and change mean for you next?
It's important to approach change with these logical steps. But the business of actually changing isn't as neat as this, obviously. There are inevitable forward and backward movements that all result in the same outcome: learning about yourself and knowing what is good enough for you.
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